Let’s talk reality

Where to start. There are so many different emotions that go with sickness. There are changes physically that you have to deal with, and there are changes in relationships.

I was in denial for a very long time. I refused to make friends at dialysis because I kept telling myself that I was just passing through. I thought God was going to heal me and all would be good and dandy. In fact it was a friend, Tom Lovett, said to me one day that maybe God would heal me in a different way than what I was thinking and hoping for. And up to this point he has been right. I thought God would heal the kidneys I had and I would not need to go down the route of transplant.

Walking this transplant route has probably been one of the best journeys of my life. I know this may sound weird but I have learnt so much about myself. I thank Carryn de Rauville for this. She is the psychologist that works with transplant patients at St Augustines.

Carryn, if you are reading this, thank you so much. You have given me so much of your time over the past few years and I am eternally grateful.

I used to see the world in black and white, right and wrong. But I know now that there is a little grey. Your sickness is not the end of the world but rather a path in a different direction. Yes, this direction is going to get some getting used to but there can be benefits to it. For instance, I was at home to witness my daughter’s first steps and first words. If I was well and still had a job I would have missed these milestones.